Adios

I really sat and thought hard today. As I munched on a snack, I thought about everything I am walking away from. The difficult years of qualifying over and over again, to men that didn't want me around in the first place. The tears that I hide from them, when I fell short of expectations. The biting my lip when I got called all sorts of things when I messed up as an apprentice. I mean, I truly struggled through the four year apprenticeship; I was determined. In 2005 it was the only thing I had ever set my mind to and completed. It was a huge deal to me, sort of the great pyramid of Vanishingword's life. Each stone was placed with deliberation. I spent hours in class rooms, hours getting yelled at, hours sweating in the blazing sun. I worked upside down, underneath things, crawled in mud, got soaked in rain, had my boots fill with sea water and sea weed. I had birds poop on me, sun blister my nose, I drove a handrail post through my lip, and almost got fired for telling the boss what I thought of his plans.
I drove myself mercilessly to be competitive, and excel past my co-apprentices.
*sigh*
But I am leaving it. Its been 10 years since I was last in college, I'm over 32, and I'm scared that I'm too old and dumb to learn any new subjects.

Attention science fiction and fantasy writers

Have you been thinking about publishing your labor of love? Take this test to make sure it will be well received first. While everyone loves a good story about elves and fire breathing dragons, why not check to see if your plot is old hat. A dead dog.

Romance

Here is where I met my husband in 2004. It's on a barge called the Manson 90.

The tale of a cat scorned.

Beware of joking around with your cat. They exact a painful revenge. This morning it was, " Oh look, how nice of you to put the baby's jumper on the floor! I will pee on it!"

Today was a good day for a visit to the carousel

Think you have the worst job on earth?

Think again.
Go here for a lovely example of a very bad job.

Attention Fan Boys and Girls!

Hurry and run to get your early tickets of Spiderman 3! You must be wearing your full regalia; spider stockings and tight black crime fighters (pajama outfit ok). No duct tape on the face mask will be allowed, and hand made web spinners made out of old garage remotes and dental floss won't be permitted. See who will win the, I am the biggest Fan Boy award. Run to your nearest comic book store for details.

Sunflowers

In the garden my big sleepy giants nod their heads in slumber. At seven feet high they are clumsy and heavy with seeds.

Riding the swing for the first time!

College or construction?

I have been really debating which I ought to do for work. I'm really divided about what I want to do more. It is very difficult to imagine walking away from what I have been doing for work for the last 7 years. However, I think I have discovered something that might make me feel equally happy! It doesn't involve cranes, books, stealing cars, black market perfume, endangered animals, cooking (blah!), heavy work boots, smuggling cigars over the border, or pedigreed dogs. Care to guess what it might be?

The fighting birds

Up on the windswept hill above my house, is a group of tall green pine trees. They tower around a seventy feet high, and bend and move in the elevated breezes. In the very tippy-top of one of them a pair of white sea hawks has been busy making a nest. I looked them up online and they are called white tailed hawks. A few trees over from them, a family of rowdy and loud neighbors have decided to make their own nest.
Its the hawks against the ravens.
I took the baby out for a walk yesterday and I had to stop in the mid-hill to watch in horror and amazement. A hawk was gliding in a for a peaceful landing, when POW, a raven knocked him upside down. I could see a burst of feathers, and his small red claws turned up in surprise! He must have been totally stunned by the blow, because he fell about ten feet upside down before he got his balance in the air again. They have been fighting all the time lately. The babies must make them more protective and territorial. A baby will make you act like that, I guess.

Five little known facts

1. It is impossible to wear a tool belt without swaggering. It helps keep the tools in your belt from denting and bruising up the sides of your legs.
2. When you run out of paper cups, the guys on the job suck the nozzle of the water cooler. (yuck!)
3. Some folks don't lock the door of the blue house, so always knock.
4. If you pick up the boss's car with the forklift and move it he will be upset.
5. If you feed the ravens, eventually they will recognize you and come closer. They have amazingly glossy feathers and are so intelligent! I enjoyed their company.

Sparks a-flying or How to catch yourself on fire.

A few years ago I was working in San Francisco under the freeway, for a company I won't mention. Their equipment yard was a huge gated lot, full of rusted, beat up looking dirt movers and cranes. You had to go into a bad part of town and I can remember that the drunks that lived in tents in the yard were fighting in the early morning. I was nervous about it, but it was only a one day job, and I had the company of a work buddy, so I figured I'd be safe.
The sun wasn't up yet, and the cool white light from the street lamps cast eery shadows. The cranes looked prehistoric, and angry. Early morning traffic still wasn't even stirring, I think it was 4am.
My buddy M, and I set up to work on the shovel of a Super 20, the teeth were missing and torn apart, they had really waited until the last minute to fix it. We fired up our generator (the drunks were mad about the noise) and I rolled out my cord for a 9 inch grinder. My job was to take the metal teeth all the way down, I followed behind M, who was air arcing off the teeth one by one. The smell of roasted CAT paint and burnt mud was just so disgusting I can't even explain it! I held my breath and got to work.
A nine inch grinder weighs around 25 pounds or more, and it can really wear out your arm if you have to hold it in awkward positions. It also has a truly gnarly kickback, and will grind through a pair of thick leather gloves in about one second. I was wearing my welding leathers; a long sleeved shirt with a high collar, to protect against the heat of working next to radiating hot metal. I also had on my welding hood, a hard plastic hat that shield your face, with a five inch by two inch glass window. This was because I was working along side someone Arc-ing ( if you don't protect your eyes you damage them) In the window you attach the "lens" which means you either have a fixed dark lens and have to flip up the hood to see anything and flip it back down before you strike and arc. The fixed dark lens is so dark that you can hold your hand right in front of your face and still not see it- welding creates light that is something like 2-3 times the strength of the sun (totally inaccurate, but something like that). A more expensive alternative is a "quick change lens" which mean that until it senses an arc ( some meer fraction of one second and it darkens) its totally see- through. I have one and it cost me 300$. Not cheap!
So there is a reason I explain all this, I had the hood on, and I couldn't see too good. The sparks were flying back onto the leather apron, because I couldn't see where my sparks were going (you can aim them if you can see). Well all the sudden I smelled this strange smell. I stop working, I sniff. I think, hmmmmm? I look down and see red flames! I'm on fire! I roll into a puddle of filth and my buddy is slapping me with his gloves to put me out. So finally I get up; I stink like urine and grease, my sweat shirt has a huge hole in it, I'm wet, I'm extremely embarrassed. I go back to work. Some things you just don't live down.

Greetings from the shadow

In the dark ages before computers....

(In the background you hear a rain storm, crashing droplets furiously falling on the jungle canopy. The sound of monkeys screaming through the branches sends shivers up your arms, various bird call and sing. The Chimpanzees move off, and the loud drone of the wild forest crickets buzzes and crackles like static.)
Amids the wilderness and wildness, there is I.
Alone and bewildered without my umbilical cord attached to the internet. I have suffered these past two days. I have been stranded in Borneo, perplexed with how to occupy myself when I have free time, I have wandered the deep dark indelible green of the jungle. The plateau of the dishes in the sink. The tall upright ridges of the fence outside. I have been oh so very bored.

@#$!%##! computer crashed

I am going to have to delay posting and responding until puter is back from shop. Picture a very angry carpenter.

The union hall

I took the baby with me this morning when I went to the union hall. Its a short drive through the rolling hills of Northern California. I am often amazed that 15 minutes outside of a huge metropolis there is land with out housing developments or electricity. Its just weird. I think there are hundreds of millions of people in the Bay Area, but go away from the center of the cities, and poof, everything disappears into barns and rural life. The recent rain has made the slopes of grass chartreuse, and the earth stands out in moist shadow. I noticed that some of the cows in the fields had new calves.
While at the union hall I ran into a bunch of people I had the pleasure of working alongside many years ago. The hall is the hub of all union activity; a great place to run into old friends. The baby was a huge hit with the men, and they wore him out. He fell asleep after a mere 2 hours of flirting and gurgling. Who would have thought that a group of grizzled construction workers would be so pleased to dandle a baby?! Not me! I obviously need to work on my perception of men and their rolls with children. I must have some sort of hidden old fashioned view about it.

Wild life I have seen on the job.

When I worked nights in a refinery I saw some amazing things. One night at around three am I saw a 3 point stag clip-clopping on an old road out in Richmond, ca. He stood in the road staring at us, I could barely believe how huge he was. I have seen coyotes, a doe and her twin babies, raccoons, skunks, lizards, hawks, enormous ravens, mice and these disgusting wharf rats (2 feet long) those come off the super tankers that tie up and unload oil. They hiss at you and show no fear.
On another job I saw owls, seagulls, pigeons, snakes, a feral cat, salmon, sturgeon, a seal and a dove who made her nest in the middle of our work site, and we had to shut down for a week until her eggs hatched.

The most enjoyable parts of working a construction job.

1. You never shower before work.
2. Why bother brushing your hair, no one else does.
3. No need for clean work clothes, keep you dirty coveralls at the job and wear then over and over.
4. Smelling bad defines you as an individual.
5. The dirtier you get, the more productive you look.
6. The view is always incredible!
7. You can see all sorts of wildlife when you work outside.
8. You work in the rain, and the storms.
9. People are willing to tell you lots of new creative curse words.
10. You learn useful adjectives to call the boss.
11. It is acceptable to throw a tantrum when your measurements are wrong.
12. If you like you can throw your tools into the drink when you get really angry.
13. Cursing at your co-workers can be considered affectionate.
14. Your foreman will feel like he is doing his job if his name appears in the blue portable potty.
15. You get a great tan.
16. You have muscles.
17. You feel energetic and fit.
18. You are a part of a team that really gets close to each other.
19. You are breaking stereotypical roles for women everywhere.
20. You set a president of how easy it can be to incorporate a woman into the trades.
21. There are really expensive toys to play with.
22. You never have to pay someone to fix something for you.
23. You can open jars of sauce easily with out asking your husband for help.

Easter Bunny!

I'm so cute!

Kiss!

The worst things about being a foofy girl at work.

1. Saw dust sticks to your lipstick.
2. You have to paint your nails alot to cover up the blackened fingernails you get when you miss your shot with the hammer ...( for those of you that don't understand this, let me be more clear. You hit yourself with a hammer on the thumb and your nail will turn black and fall off).
3. You sweat off your mascara
4. They don't make pink hard hats you can wear on a CalTrans job.
5. No one looks cute in orange safety gear.
6. You really can't wear tight pants to work.
7. Tool belts make you look 40 pounds heavier- because you are.
8. You will be covered in filth and everyone around you smells bad.
9. Your 200 year old co-workers don't understand your feminine dialect.
10. A hard hat gives your really terrible looking hair after 8 hours.
11. There is no place to wash your hands after you use the blue portable potty, which means no one else is washing their hands either.
12. If you run out of sunblock- trust me- the old men you work with won't have any you can borrow.
13. If you make an effort to smell nice- like stand really close to the soap once a week, no one notices.
14. Getting yelled at will hurt your feelings.

Afraid of heights?

Well don't bother applying for work here! You probably can't even tell how far up in the sky I am. Its a low pier tower, only 180 stories high! The first time I went up one of these my fore head was all prickled with sweat and I tried to unobtrusively keep a hand on the railing the entire time!

Grrrrrr!

I managed to pick up so much spyware, that my computer ground to a halt this weekend. I am not that interesting! I buy very little of anything, I go to boring places (clothesline web pages and book stores). Why do they need to catalog my every move? They must be afraid they will miss one of my stellar posts!

Saturday Night

I haven't really had much time to write lately. It seems like every time I sit down the baby wakes up, the phone rings, the cats yowl or there is something to take care of. The last time I was seated in the office I happened to look up and see my sheet blow off the clothesline and take off like a sail onto the wet lawn.
I haven't made it to the library in a few weeks and I am just salivating for a few new books. I often have the chance to read when I feed the baby, but I can't let him see the book or he grabs for it. Baby W and I, have started doing some of our own reading; we like Richard Scarey and Dr. Suess. Baby mostly attempts to lunge at the pages to chew on them. Reading to him is like trying to juggle a kitten and a ball of string. Everything is a toy: my lip, the book, his toes, the book, the carpet, my nose. :)
I can't believe how much my life has changed.

How to use a saw safely.

Bad idea!







Good technique!

More on an old topic: Improper tool usage.

We will be delving further into my favorite topic. Its practically inexhaustible, there are just so many mistakes you can make! I will go take some pictures to explain myself better; but it will have to wait. Its just way too cold outside, in order for me to venture forth in my red bunny slippers it needs to be at least 60 degrees. Just so you know, I think working in bunny slippers is a poor idea. In case you are thinking of hanging a 20 pound framed painting, from a ladder while wearing your slippers. Dangerous. Like playing with matches.

2007 TOOL CHALLENGE!

All you have to do is guess these tools correctly and figure out their proper use! Sounds easy? Get them correct and you win a prize! (accolades and praise)!
(1.) I am a ___ ?
(2.) I am used for ___ ?

Think I'm interesting?

Vote for me here!

Concrete Formwork, By Leonard Koel

It is entirely truthful to say that my every day reading can be an esoteric mixture. Here is an example of an easy to understand book, written for the student of construction technique. Leonard Koel has written a series of educational books used by the International Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners of America as school texts for their apprentices. There is enough information within the pages to make for entertaining reading for even the most advanced worker.
Have a husband, friend or sister interested in building a house foundation or concrete walls? Impress them with your intelligence and savvy by purchasing a book of this caliber! Koel is a master of detailed description and decipherable pictures. I recommend this book for all construction enthusiasts! It may have the effect of making all others drowsy, if you find this is the case, please avoid operating heavy equipment.

Pet food recall list

Here is a link to the actual list of all cat food recalled, there is a separate list for dog food.

peek a boo!

I was working on the platform behind me in the picture. When the tide was flooding it covered the deck in water, so you could only work during a low, low tide. I was by myself that day, minding my own business, working diligently (amazing, I know) . The sky was a pale blue, and the water was a murky, sick colored green. I had stopped bolting on concrete block-outs and I was standing at the edge quietly, gazing out on the water. Suddenly a snout poked out of the water. I saw white whiskers, freckles and satin like fur. The nostrils were large, and the head was rapidly getting bigger and closer. A large bleary, red rimmed eye stared at me. A seal had popped up for air just inches away from me! It was massive!
I really don't know who was more frightened, me or the seal! I practically swallowed my hammer climbing the wall! They can get aggressive.

Everyone likes a nap.

Snore!

The earth is flat!

According to The flat Earth Society, we the people of the world are being tricked. That's correct; the earth is flat, and the moon landing was a hoax perpetrated by the government. What a shock I had over my morning cup of tea! I had no idea!

Have a random comment?

Thinking about something that has nothing to do with a post? We all have ideas in our heads, and sometimes we need a nice friendly place to share them.

The Island of the colorblind, by Oliver Sacks

I just finished reading this fabulous, intriguing book. It covers in part the inhabitants of the tiny Pacific atoll of Pingelap, and the almost entirely colorblind community. I really felt like I traveled a vast distance into the unknown; these seldom visited Islands. The description Oliver Sacks used to describe the flora was detailed and poetic. I began to love ferns with just as much tenderness, and found myself deep in a jungle of vegetation and heat. The poetic and slightly methodical journey was a pleasure and an adventure. It has been a while since I sank so completely in the rich texture afforded by developed and extremely creative writing. I recommend this book as pleasing distraction to everyday life.

The tea house inn

Here is a lovely place to go if you are ever visiting California. Its located next the Russian river and majestic redwood trees abound. The pacific ocean is only miles away, and there are great places to eat. The best part of the tea house inn is the enormous hot soaking tub. You can wallow like a pig for hours with hot steam filling the huge bathroom. The hostess, Judy, is friendly and pleasant. The light breakfast was organic fruit and oatmeal with fresh biscuits. It was so peaceful wish I lived there.

There is a storm brewwing outside tonight.

I can hear the trees brushing their shaggy arms against each other, and waving their scratch fingers through their hair. The chimes I hung in the tree outside our bedroom window, are playing a soft dancing tune. If I stare through the glass I can view the bats doing cartwheels in the cool night air.

Submit a trite love poem.

Your eyes are like great yellow lamps in the inky midnight air....

Ask a psychic a question...

Miss Jewel, will be answering all questions with her amazing psychic abilities.
What is it you want to know?
Hmmmm?

What I miss most about working on the water.

I miss the morning cold making deep plumes of white vapor out of my breath. I miss the sliver of the dawning sun breaking the horizon into blazing light. I miss the thousand yellow snakes dancing on the tips of the waves. I miss the pitching and tossing of the crew boats dropping off people at the different pier tables. I miss the hot summer days where the heat radiates off the barge deck. I miss the " lugg, lugg, lugg", noise the crane makes when it idles. I miss turning around quickly and feeling my tool belt twirl around my hips. I miss trusting my work companions with my safety and life. I miss being huddled up with the guys for lunch talking about blueprints.
I guess I am lonesome for who I was. I'm different and softer now, with a baby. I wouldn't leave my baby for all the "Snap On" tools on earth! :)

The first flower in the garden.

How to build a fence without scraping your nail polish.

It can't be done.

You are guaranteed to be filthy, sweating and covered in concrete and dirt. It is possible you will be cursing in all the languages you know, and my name might be said with malice.
With this agreed upon, let us go over the steps to making a cheap and quick fence.
1. Tear down the old fence and try your best to remove the concrete that is poured into the base of the 4 x 4 posts. If you fail to do this, you will spend the next day beating and smashing apart concrete. Instead of exerting myself I staggered the post layout and left the concrete in the ground for some poor fool in the future . You can have a maximum distance of 8 feet between posts before they start lacking the strength to hold up the fence materials. ( You need to figure on wind pressure if you are building on a hill and shorten the space between the posts)
2. Figure out your boundary line and place two stakes in the ground and run a dry line (pulled as tight as you are able) between the two stakes.
3. Rent a "hole auger" or plan on hours and hours of digging.
4. You will need these tools: A post level, a tape measure, a saw, a speed square or framing square, and lots of pencils to lose. Also a big bucket for concrete, a water hose and some family relative to order around.
5. A general rule to remember is that for every two feet upwards, you need to sink one foot of post into the ground.
6. Use the dry line to figure out where to dig your holes, if you fail to do this your fence will curve, and that looks awful; don't do that because it makes your neighbors very angry and they might throw rocks at your car.
7. Pour about 6 inches of gravel in the bottom of the hole before you drop the post in, water will drain better that way. Center the post and have your helper hold the post level on it and stand there.
8. mix your concrete. The more water you add the weaker it gets. If your concrete looks and feels like soup, you need to add more concrete. You want it the texture of thick, lumpy oatmeal. Don't get it on your skin because it will dry out your skin and it burns.
9. Have your friend hold the post in place until it sets up (10 minutes) or nail on some cleats (three directions into the ground) Don't hit your thumb with the hammer.
10. Once the post is set in the concrete (24 hours) build a frame out of pressure treated 2 x 4's. Measure twice cut once, the material is expensive. I like to run the top 2 x 4 along the top of the posts. I cut 6 inch pieces of 2 x 4 's and nail them on vertical on the post. Then I measure between the posts and run a 2 x 4 that lays across the 6 inch pieces. Now you have a top and bottom 2 x 4 to nail your planks to.
11. Nail on a plank at the two ends of the fence, first measuring so that the same amount of plank rises above the 2 x 4 on each side. Run dry line across the top of the two planks.
12. Nail on your planks with two nails on the top and two on the bottom. If you use a nail gun, never have your partner on the opposite site that you are working on. Nail guns can shoot nails that puncture arms, legs and skulls.

Easter cuteness

Hi, I'm 5 months old and I let my mommy sleep 3 whole hours in a row last night! I'm such a good boy!

The scarey place

The twin towers of despair. The two canisters of trouble. The portals to evil. The boxes of doom.

I thought I would write about the task I dislike the most. Somehow even though my cats adore my husband, and save all their cute stuff for him; because they are mine and I brought them into the marriage, the litter box is mine as well. Does this seem fair? All I get is some shedding fur on my sweater, he gets the snuggles. I object to this.

Unsafe work practises, or how to split your wig.

1. When doing any work on the cord of a power tool, make sure it is unplugged.
2. While changing the blade of any rotating or reciprocating equipment, ensure that it is unplugged.

You sense a theme here don't you?
3. Never wedge the guard of a table saw or a skillsaw. I have seen a table saw kickback a piece of wood and throw it almost a 1/4 mile.
4. Never rigg up and fly a set of welding bottles with the regulators still attached. If the crane swings them into something they turn into real bottle rockets and can puncture a one foot thick concrete wall. Fun to watch, but people can die if they go the wrong direction. I read that they travel at a speed of around 200 miles per hour.
5. Don't signal a crane if you don't know ALL the signals.
6. If you work out on the water, wear your life jacket under your toolbelt; that way if you fall in you can unbuckle your tools and live.
7. Make sure you can swim.
We had an ironworker get carried out because he fell in and couldn't swim.
8. If you are welding and you wear steel toed boots, it can get really hot and burn your foot. Then you get laughed at and thats always bad.
9. Don't cuss at people bigger than you.
10. Never pull towards yourself when something is stuck and won't budge. I stuck a handrail post through my lip that way.
11. Don't wear your harness improperly.
12. Tie off your harness to things higher than you so you don't fall as far. Tie off to something strong enough to support a small pick up truck, thats how much force you have after a 9 foot drop.
13. When drilling through dimensional lumber, put two hands on the drill so you don't snap your wrist when it seizes up.

10 quick ways to get fired in union construction

1. Show up to work in sneakers.
2. Call the boss a "micro managing fool".
3. Put the blade on a skillsaw backwards.
4. Get caught sleeping in the portable latrine.
5. Get caught sleeping anywhere.
6. Answer your cell phone and tell the boss to "hold on a minute".
7. Fail to show up on time regularly and leave early every day.
8. Steal equipment or supplies.
9. Write how you feel about the foreman on the portable bathroom walls.
10. Show up drunk.

In my opinion, number two gets you removed with alacrity, followed closely by ten and six.

ेThe shadow and the bridge

This is actually a photo from 2005, the bridge is almost finished now. I used to have to walk up 18 stories worth of stairs. My legs would be like jello at the top. You might be thinking to yourself, "why walk to the top when you are doing piledriving work?" The answer is that the view is breathtaking and endless. You can see for miles and mile. The easy arc of the Sacramento river heading back into the distance, the wheat colored hills, and the peak of Mount Diablo to the South East. The shimmering bay looks like finely woven green silk, waving in green ripples. The achingly clear sky is enough to bring tears to your eyes.

The brain behind the master craftsman...

When I was a foreman, the guys at my old job thought I brought the blueprints home to study them! They had no idea how wrong they were. I was busy napping in the late afternoon; letting Cupcake read them and decipher the measurements and layout. I would have her explain them to me after she did all the math. My layout was always pristine, although I had trouble explaining all the cat scratch scribbling in the margins.

Later tonight:
An intriguing discussion on more possible ways to accidentally carve yourself up with power tools। Perhaps a lighter topic on ways to get out of doing any work at all... detailing my all time favorite trick of hiding out in the portable potty.
This morning:
It is looking like this conversation will be stalled by a huge loss of regular sleep. Five broken hours doesn't make any of my jokes funny, just sad.

Striking fear into the hearts of relaxed parents worldwide.

"Unattended children will be given espresso and a puppy". A real sign at an opening of a crisis nursery here in town. I choked on my soda pop and someone had to pound me on the back! Can you imagine what that would be like?!

What the heck is a Spud Wrench?

A Spud!?
Why, what an interesting question! You tell me!
What do you think you use it for?

The beauty of a Spud Wrench...

It the back of the garage, hanging on a sixteen penny nail, is my set of tool bags. They are the very best ones you can buy; hardy and thick. The texture and the sleekness sure to please almost any carpenter.
They are loaded down with my bridge building tools:
A tape measure
A speed square
A scribe
A cats paw
A pair of dikes
A pair of pliers
An adjustable 12 inch wrench
A pencil or two
A piece of soapstone
A striker
A paint pen
A mag drill key
A drill key
A reversable philips head to flat head, screwdriver
A chisel
A small roll of tie wire.
My own personal Skill Saw key
A pipe wrench (small)
And my glorious Spud Wrench.
Everything is covered in dust and cobwebs, the belt is too small for my pregnancy weight gain. I cruise my tools like some sort of lover stalking their ex. Each trip to the clothes washer I cast my eye to the nail supporting my previous life. There is a golden beam of light highlighting them.
I saw this commercial about a lady trying to lose weight in time to wear this ridiculous bikini, I am she... except I want to fit my tool bags.

Cowboy up!

Here are my two boys. Master of the crunchy bowl, and little darling (aka alarm clock)! Baby Will is the reason I do alot of blogging at 3 am, I am not ordinarily a night owl- but I have an owl baby.

My Boss

Here is Sir Weenie the cat. He is in control of the food dish and scolding the other cats. I attempted to put him on a diet because I was humiliated at the vets office when the vet started laughing at him along with the office staff. You can't really tell from the picture that he is over twenty pounds, but he is. So, the diet failed. He ate through the cat food bag, vomited on the floor and used the bathroom in my shoe; really. So I have decided the diet was a mistake, and now heap food in his dish to stall any more mafia type retaliation. My other cats, Cupcake and Meisha are girls and are far too dainty to try and eat through stiff cardboard like paper, the bag was bitten off in a million tiny pieces; cats don't have slobber like a dog, so it must have taken him hours of furious ripping... The focus and dedication is a little unnerving to me. Recently
Cupcake tried to bring in a live field mouse for my viewing pleasure but I slammed the sliding door shut in time. My back yard is full of lizards without tails. Last night Weenie-cat brings home something he stalked; what was it you ask? half a piece of someone's pork chop! A few weeks ago he brought an entire cooked steak home. Where is he getting this stuff? I have fears that an angry neighbor will come knocking and demand their dinner back... stupid cat.

Growing

ग्रोविंग
Growing can be a highly personal time. It was for me....
I was intensely devoted to my work and rose each morning at 4 am in order to be prepared. My thick work Carharts were dusty and oily, my hands heavily calloused and tough. Each day I wore a toolbelt that was loaded with 30 pounds of tools and nails. I wore a harness and dangled off the side of things; fearless in the crisp air. I felt enormously powerful and physically fit, a leopard in a jungle of rebar and concrete forms. On the weekend I spent time with my boyfriend and cats; I had a close relationship with my mother. My few moments of idle time were spent in my garden and I had decided to grow sunflowers.
I became pregnant and it necessitated many changes. You cannot place yourself in a harness and dangle fearlessly, if you are afraid of the fall. My ability to work with out fear was now hampered and my my general effectiveness at work diminished. I couldn't touch solvents anymore; they cause terrible birth defects... at work I was riddled with concerns. The tomboy in me that enjoyed the rough and tumble of my work was becoming more hesitant. It was painful for me to have to surrender a job that I adored in order to have a baby. What did I know of infants and mothering? I knew welding and gang forms, spud wrenches and spline drives .. but diapers? During the summer I enjoyed the sunflowers I had planted, as I rested at home, twiddling my thumbs. Even now sometimes as I hold my most precious baby boy, I hear the ringing of the pile hammer exploding through bedrock, I hear the scrape of my chalkstone on metal plate, I smell the wet steel rusting in the rain, I see the puddles of water on the surface of a badly beaten barge deck...

guestbook

Really I know its wrong to trick you into signing this... but... well... Lurking on a blog is sort of wrong too.
Don't be shy, you know you want to say hello!

River running into the bay waters

After the rain stops pouring into the Sierra Mountains it works its way through a series of rivers. The Yuba, The American River, The Sacramento River, all channel towards the vast sea. While working on the Strait, I would pause and gaze into the 100 foot deep waters hauling past the barge. During slack the barge would bob along easily and as the slack tide changed to ebb itself into the bay, it began to vibrate with the force. During break I would stare at the flickers of mica and mountain obscuring the crystal clear of the water. A hard rain produced a heavy dark indelible green.

Here lies a creature...

Far away, I was sitting in the burning sands on an Island that was alive; its volcano was still quickening and I was gravid myself. This circular land mass in deep green water, she spoke to me softly and said, "build a likeness of my daughter in sand". I complied, digging my fingers into the crystal sands where sea turtles came to bask. I dug and dug into the sand, reaching for the woman. "what are you doing now?" Asked the husband from inside the shelter of the beach umbrella a few feet away. With my huge belly before me, I knelt in front of the goddess and pressed her face with my hands...